caseyanthonyofficial:

One time I got pulled over by a cop and I was so nervous that I thought I was supposed to call him “your honor” like we were in court or something but then I corrected last minute and I just said “Good evening your officer”

drunktrophywife:

I need a constant iv drip of attention to survive

babyferaligator:

Sea monkeys aren’t even monkeys wtf

clamperl:

what she says: im fine

what she means: 

phat-jal:

rosaparking:

people that play the victim when theyve been absolutely horrible to others make me sooo mad

oauao:

why do pretty faces happen to bad people

iconastop:

oh mY GOd guys lOOK what just happened to mE???!!!111?! 

sirpastydick:

idk about u but im feeling 22
pounds overweight

krazykitsune:

uncle-jessie:

facebook does not appreciate me

it’s okay we appreciate you here

connorkawaii:

waking up the morning after finishing a video game 

foxnewsofficial:

anonymous compliments are really nice it’s like there’s no ulterior motive they just want you to read it and smile 

assiest:

soy milk is spanish for ‘i am milk’

burgrs:

ur a cutie and if anyone tells u otherwise let me know i will light them on fire

theblackship:

Ke$ha’s real voice